Dark Night of the Soul
There is a poem by a 16th century Spanish monk named St. John of the Cross called "Dark Night of the Soul". St. John was a deep lover of his Lord and experienced a depth of relationship like few of us do in this life. It was a place of total abandonment to the love of God that caused him to draw from the passion of complete darkness to describe his love appropriately. This deep love could only be found in the dark of night, in secret, guided only by the internal drawing of Spirit. The dark night of St. John's soul was a death of himself to become one with God.
Today is called Good Friday yet it is a day when my soul feels the passion of complete darkness as I ponder what God did on this day so many years ago. As Father He turned His face. As Spirit He tore the temple veil, darkened the sun, and shook the foundations of the earth. As Son He died and descended to the depths of darkness completely separated from the light of life. Together, as One, the Three loved as deeply as they ever had to complete the plan born before time began - to provide for reconciliation of man to God. In the darkness of that day love's redemptive plan was fulfilled. The perfect sacrifice for the darkness in my soul - and the souls of all mankind - was made. Death made it possible for us to become one with God.
Not long ago I had a conversation with a friend about how I was learning that we must abandon ourselves to experience the depths of pain and suffering in this life in order to experience the heights of love found in Him. My personal pain and suffering is nothing compared to the pain and suffering of other people - I know- but it hurts me just the same. And it is teaching me how to fully experience the love of God. So I am learning to cherish it. And Romans 8 tells me that the suffering is part of becoming like Christ. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:17-18.
But the suffering feels dark - like the dark night of my soul. I told my friend that after experiencing a particularly 'dark night', I wanted to know what part of God I had learned about in that place. I wanted to know what in my experience was similar to something He had experienced. I wanted to know how it had made me more like Him. I asked, "When were You ever sitting alone in the dark, weighed down with the anxiety and fear and doubts of this world? When were You ever lonely and despairing, hungry, thirsty, hurt, unable to speak? When were You ever abandoned?" He quietly responded. "At the cross, child." How humbling... I think I remember my friend saying that response was like a hot knife in butter.
On this day of remembering the depths of darkness He went to so that I could know His love, I reflect and realize that there is no depth of dark despair or loneliness or hopelessness or pain that I can ever experience that can come close to how He felt at the cross. He entered a depth I will never have to descend to because He loved me. The dark nights of my soul are not that darkness of eternal death due to sin's condemnation but they are dark nights of passionate love and abandonment to His love that lead to my death so I can be one with Him. I want to be able to enter the dark nights prepared to fully experience depth of suffering so that I can fully experience the glory of Him and His love being made complete in me.
This morning my heart was singing an old hymn that I will be singing all weekend as I remember the dark night of His soul. Sing it with me, won't you? He truly did pay it all so we could become one with Him. It is "Jesus Paid it All" by Elvina Hall. The first verse and chorus go like this: I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me thine all in all. Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow."
Amy
Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 28:28-30
Today is called Good Friday yet it is a day when my soul feels the passion of complete darkness as I ponder what God did on this day so many years ago. As Father He turned His face. As Spirit He tore the temple veil, darkened the sun, and shook the foundations of the earth. As Son He died and descended to the depths of darkness completely separated from the light of life. Together, as One, the Three loved as deeply as they ever had to complete the plan born before time began - to provide for reconciliation of man to God. In the darkness of that day love's redemptive plan was fulfilled. The perfect sacrifice for the darkness in my soul - and the souls of all mankind - was made. Death made it possible for us to become one with God.
Not long ago I had a conversation with a friend about how I was learning that we must abandon ourselves to experience the depths of pain and suffering in this life in order to experience the heights of love found in Him. My personal pain and suffering is nothing compared to the pain and suffering of other people - I know- but it hurts me just the same. And it is teaching me how to fully experience the love of God. So I am learning to cherish it. And Romans 8 tells me that the suffering is part of becoming like Christ. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:17-18.
But the suffering feels dark - like the dark night of my soul. I told my friend that after experiencing a particularly 'dark night', I wanted to know what part of God I had learned about in that place. I wanted to know what in my experience was similar to something He had experienced. I wanted to know how it had made me more like Him. I asked, "When were You ever sitting alone in the dark, weighed down with the anxiety and fear and doubts of this world? When were You ever lonely and despairing, hungry, thirsty, hurt, unable to speak? When were You ever abandoned?" He quietly responded. "At the cross, child." How humbling... I think I remember my friend saying that response was like a hot knife in butter.
On this day of remembering the depths of darkness He went to so that I could know His love, I reflect and realize that there is no depth of dark despair or loneliness or hopelessness or pain that I can ever experience that can come close to how He felt at the cross. He entered a depth I will never have to descend to because He loved me. The dark nights of my soul are not that darkness of eternal death due to sin's condemnation but they are dark nights of passionate love and abandonment to His love that lead to my death so I can be one with Him. I want to be able to enter the dark nights prepared to fully experience depth of suffering so that I can fully experience the glory of Him and His love being made complete in me.
This morning my heart was singing an old hymn that I will be singing all weekend as I remember the dark night of His soul. Sing it with me, won't you? He truly did pay it all so we could become one with Him. It is "Jesus Paid it All" by Elvina Hall. The first verse and chorus go like this: I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me thine all in all. Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow."
Amy
Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 28:28-30
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